you would pick up someone in the library
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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