I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize