time to smoke my breakfast
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
