Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I smell like Dick and happiness
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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