just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
