So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I had to cum in my sink.
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