you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
