Please, let me fuck your mom
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
