yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
