Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
