I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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