So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
