that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
