mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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