it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love having hate sex.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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