My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
