I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Houston, we have a blender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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