dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
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The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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