he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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