it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
there is glitter all over my balls
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