Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
