i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
