Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
