I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
