hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
