I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize