He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
