Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
