so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
