she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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