I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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