it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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