I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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