I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
why didn't you poke me back
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
