Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
