Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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