Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
