Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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