Nicole vs. Life
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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