Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
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A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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