i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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