turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
