Already got asked if we're dating
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
