so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Be still, my beating vagina.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
