oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i believe in u and ur pee
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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