i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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