Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
her vagine was all disorganized.
I cockslap morals
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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