just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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