Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so let's talk penis.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
