she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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