I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Randomize
