Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
