So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My vagina just clenched in fear
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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