His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
