She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
