FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just had sex on a roof
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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