hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
