He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
