My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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