My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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