I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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