My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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