how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
its not stalking. its research.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
