he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
