Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize