what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
