Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
