Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
