Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
