She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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