I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
