If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
