Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
