i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Farmville is her only friend.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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