hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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